I Am Not A Housewife

It’s amazing how easy it is for me to make myself feel guilty.

Recently so many feelings have been exploding in me, and slowly, over last month and now I’ve been able to sort through what I’ve been feeling.  So this post is going to be about one of my findings.

Although I’ve only been married for 11 weeks, (wow that’s so short when I think about it) already I’ve been able to guilt myself into thinking I’m a failure.   I don’t keep the house clean enough. I’m not crafty enough. I don’t do ”wife-like” things enough.  On and on and on.  The list of my failures is never ending.

This is bullshit that I’ve been telling myself.  Telling myself that I’m not good enough is stupid.

I’m not a housewife.   Yes I am married. Yes I do work from home. Yes I am the primary cleaner of our house. But that doesn’t mean I have to try and squeeze myself into a perfect cookie-cutter housewife mold. And it definitely doesn’t mean I need to make myself feel guilty when I don’t fit.  To me when I hear the word “Housewife” I think someone who sews cute things for her kitchen and bedroom, someone who bakes endlessly. Someone with a knack for decorating her house, keeping each room in a theme and color.   Someone who home cooks all the meals.

This is so not me.  And I don’t need to make it me.   First and foremost I am a writer.  Writing is what makes me happy, it’s what I do best.  So somedays this means leaving the dishes in the sink over night so I can make my writing goal. (Note: This is not an excuse to leave my house a mess, life just happens sometimes)  That’s not a bad thing!   Somedays that means throwing pizza in the oven because I’m editing.  That’s not a bad thing either!

So why am I feeling guilty about it?

Good question.  From here on out I’m declaring myself free from the housewife mold.  I don’t have anything against housewifes, they’re awesome, it’s just not me.  So I’m going to stop trying to be anything other than me.


Have a great free from guilt days peeps. 🙂


  1. It’s like you have read my soul. I’m married, and now (due to a lot of reasons) mostly stay at home. I work only part time, and I am constantly beating myself up about not doing enough around the house. Could I work a little harder and have a super clean place? Sure. But I didn’t get married to be a ‘housewife’ and that’s okay. As much as I love crafty-type things 😉

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