Let’s Make the Book Blogging World the Happiest Place on the Internet – A Response

The more I’m active on the internet the more I realize that it is sometimes a place of huge negativity.  From comments on YouTube, to Twitter and blogs, there are times when I read the things people post, and I loose all hope for humanity. People think because they can hide behind anonymous comments, or screen names that they can say whatever they want.  Which makes me so sad.

But today I read an amazing post by Cait over at Paper Fury.  She wrote a post about being kind in the book blogging world, and I could not agree more with it.  So first off go check out the link above and read her post and comment and tell her she’s amazing. 😀

Done? Okay good. Now on to my response.

First I want to thank Cait for reminding me of something in her first point. And that is to compliment other bloggers. Gosh darn it all, I do not do this often enough. BUT I SHOULD!  When I wake up in the morning, after snuggling with my husband, I usually get up and check all my favorite blogs. Now I’m getting better at commenting when I can. But I desperately need to get better at telling people how amazing they are. Even if I’m just popping in with an excited hello, I read your post and I liked it. 😀

Fellow book bloggers, y’all are my favorite people!
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Cait made an awesome point about disagreeing. As someone who has very strong opinions on most everything, disagreeing with people on the internet (and in real life) is something that’s got me in trouble in the past. I think and hope I’m much better at it now. But back when I was…oh 13-16, disagreeing nicely and letting things go were really hard for me. Because obviously I was always right and everyone needed to know this.

Now as I’ve gotten older I’ve realized a few things. A) I’m not always right. *GASP* I know, it came as a shock to me too. But if A shocked you B will blow your mind.

B) People are probably not going to change their mind just because I said something.

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Crazy right?  When disagreeing with someone on the internet, here are a few points I try to live by.

  1. Say something nice before you disagree. Find one thing to agree about, even if it’s just. “I like your profile pic.” This starts off the conversation in a friendly way, instead of all “OMG YOU’RE SO WRONG!”
  2. Use non-threatening language.  Say: “Wow, I never thought about it that way before, I think…” instead of “That’s stupid, so and so would never do anything like that and I just think you’re wrong.”  See how much nicer that is?
  3. LET THINGS GO.  This point is something that was hard for me. There were times when I tried to pound my rightness into someone over and over again. And guess what. It didn’t work, and I looked like a jerk. Well I was being a jerk. But you get the point.  Unless you’re having a really awesome friendly discussion/disagreement, twice is the maximum times you need to state your point. After that just walk away.
  4. You can both be right.  I know this point is baffling, I had a hard time wrapping my head around it too.  Two people who disagree about the characters of a book, can both be right. And just because I think I’m right doesn’t mean that I’m going to be able to make someone else see that I’m right. This goes with what my main point for B is. Once someone has made up their mind about something, chances are, me coming along with my opinion isn’t going to change theirs. And there are times when I just need to acknowledge the fact that they could also be right and leave it at that.

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Now obviously I’m not perfect at this, though I wish I was. And I don’t think everyone should be perfect. We all screw up sometimes. But the point is let’s just relax, take a breather and then be nice.
Oh and I’m not saying to never disagree, that would be silly. Each person deserves to be heard, you’re opinion is valid. I’m just trying to remind myself and everyone, that there’s a right way to disagree and a wrong way.

Book blogging has become a huge part of my life. I love it! I love reading the books, sharing about them, reading comments. I love finding new blogs, I love reading other people’s reviews. Book blogging is so much fun. I mean we’re talking about books here people! It doesn’t get any more awesome than that.

I guess my point for this post is we’re all apart of an awesome nitch in the internet, let’s try remember to keep it awesome and fun.

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So what are your thoughts about my post? What did you think about Cait’s original post? Let me know if I left out anything important! I love you guys. 🙂

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10 comments

  1. *tackle hugs you* YOU ARE SPECTACULARLY WONDERFUL TOO, JUST SO YOU KNOW. *flails around you and sprinkles cake in your hair* omg, I struggle with all of this too, though, so you are definitely not alone. Although I almost never have started arguments (I mean, I HAVE, because I’m human and when I started on the interent I was also deluded, hehe) but these days I really struggle not to defend myself. Ya know…a bit too acidly. 😉 Like I get a lot of troll comments on Goodreads and it takes a LOT of resolve for me not to fire back how immature they are and how wrong they are and how they’re rude and mean and blah blah. JUST LET IT GO, CAIT. hehe, So you can see my post was somewhat directed at me too. xD
    But yes! I want to make more of an effort to compliment bloggers and give encouragement! Because it can totally change a person’s day, right?! IT CAN FOR ME. ❤

    • Aww thanks. 😀
      Weeel you’re lucky. lol I used to start arguments all the time. But after awhile of me getting hurt and hurting others, I backed off and realized what I was doing was not helping.
      Omg, troll comments are the worst! Thankfully I haven’t had to deal with them yet, but I see them all the time and I just hate them. And I apologize for them!
      Totally, my post was the same! I needed to write this post to remind myself what to do and what not to do. THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME THE OPPORTUNITY. 😀

  2. I definitely don’t comment on posts I like/blogs I follow enough…This is like, my third comment ever, on a blog not my own I think… So, yeah, I needed to hear this, and I really need to work on it, too. Thank you so much for posting!

  3. Yep and yep. 🙂 I love Cait’s post and yours! We should definitely be nicer out there! ^_^ Thanks for your thoughtful… thoughts. 😀

    It’s also SO true about not going to change anybody’s opinion. Which is also hard for me because I have super strong opinions and like all of them are way out there and nobody else thinks it. So that can be frustrating. 😛 But just because someone isn’t ME doesn’t mean that I can’t say nice things, right? 😉 Another thing is, like Cait said, it’s sometimes hard to remember the poster is a person. Like, I DO remember, but if I don’t really know them, I’ll not feel quite as bad saying whatever I want to say/disagreeing. I don’t usually because I really do TRY to be nice online all the time and not just with people I know, but sometimes I’ll just slip a little. So your post is a super good reminder! 🙂 Like, if I was the type who just said whatever I thought without thinking, and liked to complain and argue, and if I randomly ran across your blog, I might have commented and said I didn’t like when you use language and I could have been a jerk (in your eyes) about your leaving Christianity (because language annoys me, and because it breaks my heart when people I know get fed up with God because of a bunch of people making up all these “rules” and selling it as Christianity; but like you said people have opinions and others aren’t going to change their mind by arguing), but the thing is you’re a PERSON and I KNOW you and you’re my friend and I’m not going to let stuff stop me from still being your friend and loving you like one and treating you with respect and kindness and like a PERSON, just like I hope anything I do wouldn’t make you stop being a friend to me. 🙂 And… yeah. Now I’m just rambling. But people are people and just because we can only see them through some words on a computer screen doesn’t mean they’re not there. 🙂 I probably shouldn’t post this because I have a cold and my brain is delirious and probably makes no sense, sorry… >.>

    • Aww thanks. 😀 Glad my thoughts were good. lol

      I know! Gah, me too. But I’m glad I’m not the only one who struggles with wanting to change other people’s opinions. 😀
      Right! So true. I think that’s one of the biggest problems with interaction on the internet. It’s so easy to forget that we’re communicating with human beings with feelings.
      No it totally made sense, thanks for the comment. And I hope you feel better soon! I’m sending hugs and tea and all healthy thoughts to you. 🙂

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