Throne of Glass – A Review Told in Gifs

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Goodreads Synopsis: In a land without magic, where the king rules with an iron hand, an assassin is summoned to the castle. She comes not to kill the king, but to win her freedom. If she defeats twenty-three killers, thieves, and warriors in a competition, she is released from prison to serve as the king’s champion. Her name is Celaena Sardothien.  The Crown Prince will provoke her. The Captain of the Guard will protect her. But something evil dwells in the castle of glass–and it’s there to kill. When her competitors start dying one by one, Celaena’s fight for freedom becomes a fight for survival, and a desperate quest to root out the evil before it destroys her world.

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I have so much dislike, and so many complaints about this book I don’t even know where to start.  Well that’s a promising beginning.  I promise I don’t intentionally dislike popular books…It just always happens?

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So I suppose I should start by saying Throne of Glass is a good idea. Assassins and magic! It’s a cool thought.  And we have a female protagonist whose supposed to kick-butt and be awesome. I’m all for that.

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But then we move on to the characters. Our main character is Celaena, she 18 and she supposed to be the greatest assassin in her whole country. This is complete and utter bullshit. Throughout the book she consistently cares more about clothing and boys then training or acting like a half decent assassin. People sneak into her bedroom and she sleeps through it.  A bag of chocolate is left on her bed and she eats it even though she knows that other people are being murdered in the castle. She’s reckless, stupid, vain and shallow.  The author did silly things like have Celaena be in a mine for a year and then miraculously get back into top shape in 2 weeks.  Celaea spends all her time being arrogant instead of actually sizing up her competitors. Which also meant I never had any doubt she would win which equaled a boring story.

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Then we had the sides of our love triangle, Dorian and Chaol.  I spent the entire book being confused about which one was which. I mean when Celaena was with them separately I could tell them apart by one being all “Oooh look at me I’m the player prince” and the other being “I’m super broody and mean and also I’m the captain so do what I say.”  But then the other half of the time their dialogue was so similar I almost gave up reading the book in frustration. Which also made the love triangle confusing to me. Like who was saying what? Why did she like both of the guys? They were so flat and stereotypical.

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Then I had a big problem with the court. Everyone talked and acted like teenagers, there was no court intrigue, there was no one interesting. At one point she sees this two guys that hired her to murder someone years before and they don’t have the brains to act cool and calm. One actually drops his cup. Like this is a evil royal court right? I’m sure everyone has had someone murdered but you would think they would be more chill about it.  Characters walked around broadcasting their intentions from a mile away. Celaena becomes friends with this princesses Nehemia whose plot twists I could see from miles away. Also she practically told Celaena what she was doing but our ”greatest” assassin was too convinced this girl was her friend to actually wonder what was going on. Excuse me while I murder everyone in this book. (I had to use a Deadpool GIF okay)

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Then there we have the competition. Wait…there was a competition? Oh you mean the rock climbing and the archery contest? Yeah not much of competition. I was bored to tears.

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Then there was the POV jumping around. Have I mentioned yet how much I hate this? The book jumped to the prince to have him complain about being court with his mom. And then it would jump to Chaol to have him give unknown love eyes to Celaena. At one point it even jumped to the king so that we could learn about the plot twist.  It’s weird, like maybe if the assassin acted like an assassin we wouldn’t need POV jumps because she’d actually be sneaking around the castle and stuff.

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To sum up I felt like this:

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So yeah…I gave it one star on Goodreads.  Please tell me I’m not the only who disliked this book? If you liked it, my apologies. 

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9 Comments

  1. I’ve been trying to figure out if I should read this book or not, as someone who generally doesn’t read too much YA. Wow did this review help! Everything that bugged you would be something that would drive me up the wall… now I’m just leaning towards skipping it entirely.

  2. Pingback: Grave Mercy – A Review | Rambling Writer

  3. I just started reading Throne of Glass. I’m only 40-ish pages through it… But I can already see some of the problems you mentioned here, and they bother me too. Especially Celaena. My big thing with protagonists is that I don’t mind them being prickly or whatnot, but I need something to help me connect with them and cheer for them. So far, all I want Celaena to do is shut her mouth. :S I’ll give the book a little bit longer, but so far I agree with you.

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