I had the Pride and Prejudice soundtrack on all day. My favorite is “The Secret Life of Daydreams” because the song never fails to let my imagination fly. When I was younger I was afraid that my imagination would grow so big and beautiful that I wouldn’t want to live in the real world. Now I’m grown up and most of the time the real world is good enough for me. But every once in awhile, on quiet days I put in my headphones and I can feel my soul aching to get away. My heart beats fast in my chest, and my ribs only feel like cages. I want to leave. Is there a word for this? Not wanting to die, but something in between…something like peacefully dissolving into the world of dreams. It’s so quiet in here, why would I want to leave? In my mind I can fly or dance or twirl in circles in the sun all day. I can make him smile forever. I don’t ever have to leave her.
It’s days like this that leave me curled in a ball, wanting to cry but not having the tears. It’s so achingly beautiful in my mind that coming back is heartbreaking…I can’t do it justice with my writing.
What do I do on these days? I guess I keep on trying…I keep on writing.
This post was first posted a couple days ago on my Patreon. I’ll be doing a lot more writing posts on there, some I will eventually share on here some I won’t. Consider supporting me please! 🙂