Going On Anxiety Medication

A week and a half ago in my last counseling appointment my councilor brought up the idea of looking into anti-anxiety medication.Grant could feel me tense up and shut down. He touched my arm and said gently,

“That idea scares you doesn’t it?

And I realized he was right. This really and truly scared me down to my core. And I had to stop and ask myself why? Why does it matter to me that much?

The answer turned out to be complicated at first but once I looked at it I realized there were two main worries I had. At the core of the issue I was scared of this idea because a large part of me felt this meant I was very very ill. It’s one thing to be anxious, and to go to counseling and fix things. It’s another thing to take medication.  Doesn’t that mean that I’m beyond just a normal fix? Doesn’t that mean there’s something terribly wrong with me?

The answer to that is of course no. Taking a form of medication doesn’t somehow cross the line between kinda needing help, to really needing help.  Medication is just another tool that I can use to get better.

The other thing that scared me about this was the thought that by taking medication I was somehow lazy or not doing my best to get better. Medication seemed like the easy way out, the way out for people who have a hard time sticking with the more difficult road.
This is also a wrong assumption. I’m not somehow less than, or lazy. I’m working every day (though some days are easier than others) to get better. And again medication is just another tool for me on my journey to be less anxious.

Grant has been so much help to me this past week and half. He’s helped me break down my fear and realize why it’s not true, and where there might be some valid points. My mom has also been a big help in researching all the different methods to help my anxiety go down.
I’ve decided now that I would like to look into a low form of anxiety medication, and that I will also be looking into my hormone levels and go from there.  I’m not expecting my anxiety to be cured automatically. I just need to keep trying and see what works for me.

If anyone else has anxiety I’d love to hear about what works for you! Also if you have anxiety and you just need someone to listen to you, I’m here and always willing to listen.

 

 

7 comments

  1. This is such a fantastic and important post. Helping to break down stigma surrounding issues like anxiety, especially medication, is such a great thing to do. I wish you all the best moving forward and hope this is a step towards feeling happier and healthier 😊

  2. *hugs* I started taking medication for anxiety (and other things) last year and while I haven’t found anything that works yet, I hope I do, and I hope you do as well. I saw something a while ago that I think is a good thing to keep in mind: “If you can’t make your own neurotransmitters, storebought is fine.” 😊

  3. I totally would understand the fear of this. *sends hugs* It’s been suggested to me to try anxiety medication too, but so far I’m going a kind of more natural remedy route…but that doesn’t work for everyone and I don’t think it’d be the answer for everyone either. The important thing is to do what’s best for YOU. Those of us with anxiety have 0% need to feel ashamed for having it or for needing help. I know that’s easy to say and hard to accept though, because I still struggle with not feeling like I’m “doing enough”. Which is such nonsense of course! So I totally understand the feels behind this. I hope whatever you try works though. ❤

  4. I love putting it in terms of tools you can use. Yes, I agree, medication is a tool you can use to help lower your anxiety, it’s not a magic “fix” or something only for extreme cases. It could be a part of your journey to better mental health. I haven’t had medication, but I have considered medication for depression, especially since I’m having a tough time lately. I just got new insurance though so I want to figure out if I can find affordable counseling first.

    • Yeah I like the way you put that, that medication can just be a part of the journey.
      Yay for insurance!
      Wish you luck with counseling, it can be really good. I’m so happy to be going.
      Thanks for commenting!

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