5 Traits The INFP Looks For In A Romantic Partner


Myers-Briggs personalities are something I’ve been fascinated with for a good while now, and while I know that these types aren’t the most scientific I feel like they can work for some people. I know that it’s always worked for me, and it’s helped me to better understand friends and family. For instance I’m an INFP, and once I started reading more about my personality I was able to better understand myself. So I’ve written a few posts in the past about being an INFP, which you can find here and here.  I’ve also written some posts about INFP’s and dating, this post is a continuation of that series.

Today I wanted to write about what the INFP tends to look for in a romantic partner. While I was writing this blog post, I ended up doing a lot of googling about INFPS, and spending time on reddit forums searching for common themes. I also ended up having an impromptu poll on instagram and I’m super grateful for everyone who participated.

1. Authenticity

The first thing I look for and am attracted to is a person who is genuinely themselves, I love the individual quirks and ideas that people have. I love getting to know all the little details of a person, so when I can tell that a potential pattern is authentic I’m completely enthralled.

2. Vulnerability 

I love knowing that I’m a safe space for someone, it makes me feel both cared for and like I’m truly caring for them.  It’s an honor to witness someone’s vulnerability because I know how hard it can be sometimes. And I look for this trait in other people because it builds a bond of trust and compassion.

3. Inspiration 

As a writer and creator I am drawn to inspiration, it ties in a lot with the above two traits. I love being inspired by other people, and I love to see what inspires them.

4. Similar Goals 

I don’t like to waste my time with people who have different goals than me. And this isn’t to put them down, or to say my goals are better. But I’m an introvert, I only have so much energy for people. I also have depression and anxiety, which further lowers my energy sometimes. When looking for a potential partner, I want our goals to be similar so that it’s easier for us both to accomplish them, and to cheer each other one when working on them.

5. Humor

This might not seem quite as serious as the others, but I included it anyway.  Humor and someone making me laugh will get me every time.

5.1 Kindred Spirit

I almost didn’t include this trait, because it doesn’t feel like it’s own trait but rather the combination of all of the above.  When I meet a person with all of the traits I just mentioned, I know I’m meeting a kindred spirit. I feel safe with them, I feel seen by them, and I feel like I’m seeing into someone’s soul. Which is honestly one of the sexiest feelings in the world.

Of course I’m no expert on the INFP, and I certinally don’t think this list is a one size fits all. Some INFPs might put some of these traits on their list, maybe add others, maybe rearrange the order. But I feel like this is the basic thought process of my type. Hope you all enjoyed!  What do you look for in a potential partner? 


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