Goodreads Synopsis: What if Jesus didn’t die so our lives could look perfect? What if He died so we could stop feeling like our lives have to be perfect to mean something? What if we simply live out our own story, even if it doesn’t look as others say it should? Mandy Steward set out in pursuit of these what-ifs. She didn’t find answers so much as she discovered a messy grace that knows no limits and a God that was and is willing to thrash about with her no matter her questions or struggles or doubts. What she found was abundant life, but it didn’t look like she thought it was going to. It was far different, and much deeper. This is a book without “easy” answers that lets those struggling with faith and searching for more know they are not alone.
I first bought this book back in the summer of 2015, when I was first deconverting from Catholicism. I had a lot of questions and this book was recommended to me, by whom I can’t remember anymore.
I decided to give this book a reread because I’m currently in the middle of moving and therefore also going through my bookshelves. I remember when I first read the book I was disappointed that it wasn’t more helpful. Reading the book now was an interesting experience.
Steward has a vivid writing style, her sentences flow really nicely and I enjoyed that part at least.The rest of the book was obviously not for me, and I ended up giving it away. I felt like the rest of the book was a jumble. I related to her confusion about marriage and the church, but I disagreed with her conclusions. Her thoughts don’t make sense.
Still everyone’s journey is their own, and I want to refrain from passing too much judgment. If you’re religious and confused there are other books out there that can help, this is not one of them. I gave it two stars on Goodreads.