Dating As An INFP Part 3 – The ENFP & INFP

Many many moons ago I wrote an introduction post to my INFP dating series, since then I’ve written about the INFP with the ISTJ, and now I’m finally getting around to writing another part.  I’ve written a couple of posts about my personality type which you could also check out. You can find them here and here.  I’m not an expert on the Myers-Briggs Indicator by any stretch, I just find these personality types really interesting. So these are my own observations about myself and my love life.

Now I’ve only been dating an ENFP for about two years so I can’t say I have as much experience with this personality type as I do with others. But I love writing these posts and I had a few thoughts so hopefully you all will find them interesting. ENFP stands for Extrovert, Intuitive, Feeling and Perceiving. And as you can see it’s pretty close to the INFP, which stands for Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling and Perceiving. 

It’s really cool and interesting to see how my girlfriend and I are so similar and yet still pretty different, and it all comes down to our world view which I believe is rooted in our extroversion and introversion.


Differences – 

Extroversion vs. Introversion: 

While this is a big difference between the two of us, this isn’t a bad thing. It’s more of a balance thing. I enjoy her energy and she gets me out of the house. She also enjoys my calmer nature and has said it grounds her when she’s feeling anxious. But it is also a balance when deciding what to do in a week. Sometimes the last thing I want to is to go out and social and that’s what she really needs.  We’ve had to work on our communication in this area for sure!

Optimism vs. Pessimism: 

Here I think that my personality might stray a little from stereotypical INFP’s, as I have a strange optimistic pessimism through which I see the world. I tend to fear the worst with the hope that the best will take me by surprise.  My girlfriend however is a pretty positive person, which I feel is typical of a lot of ENFP’s.   I tend to say something dreary and her response will often take me by surprise and remind me to look on the bright side.

Friendly vs. Shy: 

Where I’ll walk into a group of new people and immediately start to shut down and close off, Emily is friendly and can usually start up a conversation or friendship with relative ease. Now this does depend on the day and how we’re both feeling, because sometimes we tend to switch places.  But more often than not, she can make friends easier than I can.

Similarities – 

All The Possibilities: 

With a shared indicator of N and P, Emily and I share a common way of looking at the world and seeing possibilities. We both like looking for meaning and connection in the world around us. This similarity is handy because we can see the other person’s perspective fairly quickly, which means our disagreements don’t tend to last very long. 

All The Feels: 

Our shared F indicator means we both have all the feels all the time. Now while there is a slight difference as I tend to feel most deeply inwardly, and Emily feels very outwardly, we have a common ground knowing that we have feelings in common.

Independence Is Key:

The last shared trait that I’m going to mention for the INFP and the ENFP is independence. Both of us dislike being controlled by people or situations, though this comes from slightly different places. For the ENFP, it comes from a carefree attitude whereas for the INFP it comes from a desire for perfection and a world that fits their value system. Still knowing that we both desire independence is good for knowing how we want our relationship to work. Probably why we’re non-monogamous! 


That’s all from me folks! There are a lot of great resources out there for the Myers-Briggs Personality Indicator, one of my favorites is Psychology Junkie.  Let me know some of your favorites as well! Also I’d love to hear if this matches your experiences with INFP’s and ENFP’s. 


  1. I am an INFP girl dating an ENFP guy since a year now. I can relate to the article. We are so different yet similar in many ways. I am an introvert whereas he is a social person and has a huge group of friends which he loves whereas I have 3-4 close friends. I feel we both are quite emotional and empathetic. We always understand each other as we like to think about everything from different perspectives. Thats why we never had a major arguement! I love our relation!

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