Sometimes It’s Hard For Me To Speak – A Poem

i’ve just got back from a weekend camping trip. it was was great but now i’m tired. i just can’t stop staring at my documents in google drive, wanting to put words on them but not remembering how.


my friends are all wonderful, encouraging, adorable people. i wish i could write poems for all of them, something that summarizes my gratefulness to them for putting up with me. i wish i could say what’s on my mind without falling back to writing them out on paper and never showing anyone.

sometimes it’s hard for me to speak.

today, i’m going to see my family. it’s been months since last we were together. but i am tired and i wish i wasn’t.  i wish i had hoards of energy just waiting below my surface. i wish had handfuls of joy that i could pop into my mouth and become another, happier person. i feel i owe it to you to always be on my best behavior.

my family are wonderful people, encouraging, helpful people. i wish i could write more poems for them, something that tells them how much i love them. how much i truly, truly am grateful that anyone puts up with me. something that doesn’t feel like a copout, just a truth.

sometimes it’s hard for me to speak.

tonight, i’ll fall into bed. maybe i’ll feel like this time i said everything right. i wasn’t stupid, i didn’t say any of the wrong things. i’ll feel like i’ve said all that i wanted to, didn’t leave anything out for fear of offending someone. maybe, tonight, i’ll feel like speaking words is easier than writing them.

or maybe, tonight, it won’t matter. maybe i’ll just try to keep speaking, but mostly just listen. maybe i’ll stop faulting myself. and, for once maybe everything will just be okay.

 

Promoting Creativity: A Monthly Blog Series

Wow! It’s been a month since last time already, and I’m super excited to be back and featuring our next writer, Maddie!

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1) Tell us a little bit about what you do.

I think, I breathe, I sleep, I dream, I study, I… Oh, like creatively? 😉 I write, I read, I act, I blog, and I knit. I quote movies all the time, and break into spontaneous song when someone says something that reminds me of something else. No, don’t leave! I’m really not crazy, I promise!

2) When and why did you start writing?

The earliest piece of writing I have is from when I was 7 years old. It was about a mouse that sneaked out of his hole on Christmas to get some food. Yep, I know – really imaginative. When I was 9, my mom had this book with paintings and poems to be used as prompts for kids to use for writing. She told me and my sister to write a story based off of a certain picture of two boys trying to ride their dog. I was really excited about it, named the two boys after my dad and his brother, and bam! My first story was written. I guess it just kind of took off from there. And trust me, I’ve had better inspiration since then:)

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3) Tell us about a project that you are currently working on that has you really excited.

In September I introduced a writing help service to my blog. Basically what that means is if you are struggling with writer’s block or just can’t make it past a part in your story, you can fill out my form and tell me about what you need help with. I will send you prompts for as long as you need them. So far, no one has signed up, so if you check it out, I would really appreciate it!

4) What are some of your goals for the future?

I really hope to be published one day. I’ve never written a full novel, although I’ve started two. So publishing a whole book is a goal that probably won’t be realized until a little while down the road. Until then, I would really like to publish some of my short stories, flash fiction, and poems. I’m currently editing my favorite short story to be entered into a publishing contest. In January, I will begin a course with the Institute of Children’s Literature, and I’m really excited about that!

I’ve thought about opening a shop at the farmers market and selling some of my knitted items and maybe some short little poems. We’ll see!

Life wise, I just finished a CNA course and am studying for the exam. Once I am certified, I hope to get a job at the nursing home in town. I am also discerning if I should try to get into a Catholic acting college at this time, or if it should be something for the future.

5) How can we support you?

Like I said, you can sign up for my writing prompt service! It would mean a lot:) You can check out my blog and follow it.  Also, prayers really help. If you could pray for my future and life, that would be awesome!

Thank you so much, Abi, for having me!

 

NaNoWriMo Write-Ins

12 more days till NaNo! It’s almost time! 🙂

I’ve been posting once every week about this noveling event, so far I’ve talked about what I need to stay alive, and I’ve talked about the forums.  So this week I’m going to talk about write-ins with your region.

If you’re joining NaNo this year and you don’t know what or where your region is, it’s pretty simple to find out. The website describes regions like this: “Think of your home region as your Hogwarts house. It will be easily found in the top menu, and your word count and donations will go toward its totals.”  To find yours, start on on the main page, simply click the brown button that says “regions” and follow the button that says “find a region”.  Then search for your city, or a city near you and join!

What’s the point of joining a region? Write-ins and friends in your area! NaNoWriMo is a lot of hard work, but like I’ve mentioned before, if you have someone who can be there to talk plotting and characters, or hide your chocolate, or word war with you, NaNo can be a lot easier.  Join your region will help you find people in your area to help and be helped by.
Write-Ins are also a ton of fun.  Writers gather everywhere from libraries to local restaurants. Bring a laptop and maybe some food to share and start writing with a handful of other dedicated NaNoers.

Along with your region you will have a friendly ML, or municipal liaison, this person is there to guide you through NaNo if it’s your first time, tell you about write-ins and much more. They are there to help make NaNo the best experience possible.

Write-Ins are something that I haven’t been able to participate in as much as I’ve wanted to. Between moving or being out of state, or last year when I was planning my wedding, I just haven’t found the time.  Last year I was able to go for the first time to a few events.  This year however I am free as a bird and I plan on going as many times as possible. I’ve been in contact with my regions wonderful ML so that I can help wherever is needed.

In case you can’t tell I am over the moon excited about this. 😀 I’ve even started a calendar trying to fit in as many write-ins as I can.  I’ll be writing a follow up post more about my experience this year.  So go be apart of your region! You will not regret it.

How much are you excited for this NaNoWriMo? Do you go to write-ins and keep up with you region? 

Friendships are Tricky Things

“A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.”
~ Elbert Hubbard
This is just something I’ve been thinking about for awhile and thought, “Hey! I have a blog, why don’t I make a random rambly post. After all this is the Rambling Writer.” 😉

I am forever grateful that I live in this modern internet age. It’s is extremely hard for me to make friends, on account of my introverted and shy nature. I know some people discredit online friendships, but oh well, too bad for them I say.   A lot of my online friends I met though homeschooling programs, and they are some of the best people I know. And I’ve actually got to meet one or two of them.  When I’m in person I tend to get tongue tied, or just don’t know what to say. But when I’m online and chatting, I get to think and write out my words in a way that makes more sense than when I’m speaking.  The written word has always been easier for me to communicate with.

That said this year, or I guess the rest of this year, I want to work on making friends.  When I got married and moved back to my home state, it struck me that I didn’t have friends my own age. And with a lot of my online friends going to college, and my friends in Louisiana having lives, this left me rather lonely.

I’m not doing the best on my goal of making friends. I still haven’t met someone my own age in real life.  Though this past week I joined a writer’s emailing group. Which has been really fun!

I’m an introvert. I’d rather stay at home and read a good book then go to a party.  I’m also shy, I can’t find words when I need them. And I’m awkward because of this. Sometimes I wonder why anyone would want to be friends with me at all. But I do enjoy people, I enjoy their quirks, their funny laughs. I like getting to know someone, and once I’m comfortable with a person I’ll chat their ear off. Making friends is hard, hard work, but in the end it’s worth it. I’ll be there for them, and they’ll be there for me.

So what happens when friends aren’t there? When they stop talking to you, when they just kinda…slip away. What do you do then?  I have to remind myself that it’s not my fault. Unless I was incredibly rude or insensitive or something, then it’s definitely my fault. 😉 Friends ebb and flow, that’s the way of things.  For me it can be a temptation to pull back inside myself when this happens, because let’s face it, it hurts when someone stops talking to you.  But I have to remind myself to keep open to people.

So yeah. What about you? Do you have a hard time making friends? What do you enjoy the most about making friends and meeting people?
Have a great day!